This past week, while discussing Jesus and John Wayne with a Swiss reporter, I described how the John Wayne in the title points to how Christians often base ideals of “Christian manhood” on secular models—on mythical warriors, cowboys, and soldiers.
Thank you, Kristin—-and Jay. I am a 72 year old white male, Southern evangelical. People have LOST THEIR MINDS. And these “Christian” leaders have lost, or least seriously misplaced, their faith. I am going to have to be placed in a mental institution if I read one more quote from Metaxas or any other such “Christian.”
We are lost as a country and especially as believers. I truly believe there is a mass psychosis in our land and especially in my fellow believers, and I do not know what to do about it. Kristin, “keep telling the story, be faithful and true.” I appreciate you, and yes, some may recognize an old hymn reference. Ironically, the name of the song is “Let Others See Jesus in You.” Thank heavens Metaxas, Webbon and all the theobros are doing that………..yes, sarcasm intended, they are frighteningly sick and pathetic.
This is an important and thoughtful piece, and I wish all Christians could read it. I'm 67 years old, and many of my notions of masculinity were shaped by what I saw in my father's generation--men who served in World War II. Veterans would readily tell you, and I could observe for myself, that the biggest and loudest talkers, the ones who talked most about the glories and sacrifices of combat, were the men who hadn't actually seen combat. Almost without exception, the ones who had seen the worst--like my dad's best friend who landed Marines on Iwo Jima--didn't want to talk about it. It's not that the big talkers were completely cosplaying, like so many "theobros" today. They had served honorably and done the jobs the military had assigned them. But those who had sacrificed less also had less understanding about what real sacrifice meant.
While John Wayne is an artificial symbol for American masculinity, it's interesting that even John Wayne was something of a creation. The director John Ford discovered him and made him into a star. And while other Hollywood leading men in the 1940s served in the war--Jimmy Stewart was a tailgunner on a bomber crew, one of the most deadly jobs there was--John Wayne never served. It's a reversal of their roles, ironically, in "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance." In real life, Jimmy Stewart was the real deal and John Wayne was the legend who got remembered as the manly man.
If I may be indulged as an older man in using this term, "real men" see through people like Josh Hawley, who we remember for fist-saluting the Jan. 6 rioters and then being caught on video beetling away when actual trouble arrived. The men I worry about today are the young ones who get poisoned with a toxic combination of the John Wayne mythology and a form of Christianity that appropriates this mythology and pretends to be masculine. On screen and in life, John Wayne never presented himself as religious, but these confused young boys now get told by religious frauds that a posturing masculinity must be part of their Christian identity.
It makes their heads explode when you remind them that Jesus compared himself to a mother hen protecting her chicks. They get convulsed when you mention all the times the gospels say Jesus felt compassion, which sounds un-masculine to them, and then explain that the Hebrew word has a decidedly feminine connotation, because it refers to a twisting of the internal organs that women experience during pregnancy as they "suffer with" the child they are bringing into the world.
Real men, like Jesus, embrace the motherly dimension of God.
Hi Randy. I just wanted to comment that your remark about those who fought in combat but didn’t speak of it, rings true with me. There’s my dad, a naval officer who didn’t speak of his experiences, but there’s also my uncle. We knew he was at the Normandy landing and was wounded, but we—including my cousins—never knew the extent of his heroism. However, the army sent men to honor him with a twenty one gun salute at his funeral, and those men shared the information with us.
My husband is a partially disabled veteran and gets his care at the VA. When you go to the VA, you will see a whole bunch of disabled parking spots wide open, and several non-disabled parking spots near the front wide open. Then you'll observe a bunch of veterans hobbling/limping in from "the back 40" because most of them want to save those spaces for "someone who needs it more than I do." These real-deal military dudes are not asking for any recognition and would much rather sacrifice more for others. If they do wear a hat or something reflecting their service, it's more so they can connect with others in the same boat, not so they can get a free meal. (Although my husband will gladly take the discount at Home Depot.) The many WWII vets I got to meet before they passed were the same. They didn't flaunt their service. They simply did life in service to others when they got back.
My second comment here, but it's been on my mind. It seems this masculinity mindset has a lot to do with the DOGE cuts. Such men do not value the work or intelligence of anything or anyone that they don't own or control. I'm not just referring to the dismissal of women and minorities, but to whole departments. Since everything for them has been performative, they project that on to others' endeavors. They seem to think things just run by magic instead of hard work and dedicated people. The elimination of the Department of Education, and the gutting of the FAA and FEMA are such examples.
I do not know if it is that they think these things run by magic, I think it is more malicious, and that they think that because these things benefit others, they merely don’t want them to run at all
James 3:17-18 describes the wisdom and humility that comes from following the ways of Jesus:
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”
Thanks for sharing this Kristen. I’m truly disturbed by the toxic masculinity being displayed in our country.
We all have many identities with our sex, race, and nationality being the main ones, obviously. These are not sinful, but any one of them can become an idol that competes for Jesus' preeminence in our lives. For example, I have had friends for whom their motherhood and number of children seemed to be their sole source of value. It seems like something similarly idolatrous is happening with these guys, wanting status, solely based on the fact they are of the stronger sex. Or can it be the sin of vanity? As my wise friend Greta says, there is not one virtue that applies to men that doesn't apply to women too. We are all to be more like Christ, period! Also, I wish I could meet each one of these men and tell them that there is nothing more unmasculine to a woman than a man who is into his masculinity. Please delete all your chopping wood videos and repent!
“there is nothing more unmasculine to a woman than a man who is into his masculinity.”
it is absolutely insane How far liberal women will go to vilify men having their own identity and interests. it is not at all the coincidence why these people move to the right, especially coupled with the Democratic parties shift to the right in general.
Thank you for you reply. I was stating my opinion, and I shouldn't generalize. I am actually not a liberal woman, and if you witnessed my own marriage vows, well let's say John MacArthur could have written them! I do think an obsession with masculinity in men usually coincides with their unhealthy expectations for women. That goes beyond personal hobbies, which I am all for, and can lead to real harm for all women, something we should all care very much about.
Thank you for your reply as well! you do not mention an obsession with masculinity in your original post. you merely stated women are not attracted to men who are “into their masculinity.” the way I interpret that is someone who has found comfort and is enthusiastic about the way. They express their masculinity the fact that you even provided a specific hobby to vilify furthered my belief in that.
I confess, I was thinking of a certain candidate for governor in my state who kept posting videos of himself chopping wood and saying that this was what manhood looked like (He lost in the primary). I am all for hobbies, even those I don't understand. Have a great weekend!
well, of course, there is a difference between traditionally-deemed masculine hobbies and the obviously problematic exclusive vision of manhood that you use your hobbies to gatekeep. That was just not conveyed in your original message at all.
Thank you, Kristen. These are powerful and meaningful insights. The application of masculine cosplay in the church also reveals a fundamental flaw in what is seen as Christian spirituality. Substituting toxic religious behaviors and proclamations for Jesus-centered spirituality that brings life rather than death to the world. Thanks again!
It will take a lifetime of reading stuff like this and practicing another way to pull back and remove the deep layers of harmful ideologies such as these.
I think it’s simple. When humans interact, conflicts emerge. When a conflict emerges, it is resolved in service of the common interest, or it is left unresolved in service of a limited interest. We can’t resolve every conflict one-by-one in the sequence in which it emerges, but what would happen if a magic spell made everyone in the world suddenly want to resolve the most important conflicts in every direct personal relationship? It would not turn our civilization into a utopia. Instead, we would be in harmony with our human nature and with each other.
Josh Hawley can’t resolve a conflict because he can’t understand the “common interest” concept. He is instead a world-class expert at expressing sophisticated versions of “I’m right, you’re wrong because you disagree with me, and this conversation is over.”
For me, this was brilliant, clarifying and compelling. I marked well your John Wayne look at Christian nationalism and thank you. And I follow you and appreciate your association with so many intelligent and compassionate people. I smile with a little more confidence in knowing the "why" and "how" all this is happening in America. Thank you....
My husband is a partially disabled veteran and gets his care at the VA. When you go to the VA, you will see a whole bunch of disabled parking spots wide open, and several non-disabled parking spots near the front wide open. Then you'll observe a bunch of veterans hobbling/limping in from "the back 40" because most of them want to save those spaces for "someone who needs it more than I do." These real-deal military dudes are not asking for any recognition and would much rather sacrifice more for others. If they do wear a hat or something reflecting their service, it's more so they can connect with others in the same boat, not so they can get a free meal. (Although my husband will gladly take the discount at Home Depot.) The many WWII vets I got to meet before they passed were the same. They didn't flaunt their service. They simply did life in service to others when they got back.
Thank you, Kristin—-and Jay. I am a 72 year old white male, Southern evangelical. People have LOST THEIR MINDS. And these “Christian” leaders have lost, or least seriously misplaced, their faith. I am going to have to be placed in a mental institution if I read one more quote from Metaxas or any other such “Christian.”
We are lost as a country and especially as believers. I truly believe there is a mass psychosis in our land and especially in my fellow believers, and I do not know what to do about it. Kristin, “keep telling the story, be faithful and true.” I appreciate you, and yes, some may recognize an old hymn reference. Ironically, the name of the song is “Let Others See Jesus in You.” Thank heavens Metaxas, Webbon and all the theobros are doing that………..yes, sarcasm intended, they are frighteningly sick and pathetic.
And my 84 yr old mother just loves Erik Metaxas and yet he was nothing like my dear dad. Its beyond me. I only hear his mean spiritedness.
I love his last lines about how we just need to be more like Jesus. Simple and hard. It is not what we say but how we act.
This is an important and thoughtful piece, and I wish all Christians could read it. I'm 67 years old, and many of my notions of masculinity were shaped by what I saw in my father's generation--men who served in World War II. Veterans would readily tell you, and I could observe for myself, that the biggest and loudest talkers, the ones who talked most about the glories and sacrifices of combat, were the men who hadn't actually seen combat. Almost without exception, the ones who had seen the worst--like my dad's best friend who landed Marines on Iwo Jima--didn't want to talk about it. It's not that the big talkers were completely cosplaying, like so many "theobros" today. They had served honorably and done the jobs the military had assigned them. But those who had sacrificed less also had less understanding about what real sacrifice meant.
While John Wayne is an artificial symbol for American masculinity, it's interesting that even John Wayne was something of a creation. The director John Ford discovered him and made him into a star. And while other Hollywood leading men in the 1940s served in the war--Jimmy Stewart was a tailgunner on a bomber crew, one of the most deadly jobs there was--John Wayne never served. It's a reversal of their roles, ironically, in "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance." In real life, Jimmy Stewart was the real deal and John Wayne was the legend who got remembered as the manly man.
If I may be indulged as an older man in using this term, "real men" see through people like Josh Hawley, who we remember for fist-saluting the Jan. 6 rioters and then being caught on video beetling away when actual trouble arrived. The men I worry about today are the young ones who get poisoned with a toxic combination of the John Wayne mythology and a form of Christianity that appropriates this mythology and pretends to be masculine. On screen and in life, John Wayne never presented himself as religious, but these confused young boys now get told by religious frauds that a posturing masculinity must be part of their Christian identity.
It makes their heads explode when you remind them that Jesus compared himself to a mother hen protecting her chicks. They get convulsed when you mention all the times the gospels say Jesus felt compassion, which sounds un-masculine to them, and then explain that the Hebrew word has a decidedly feminine connotation, because it refers to a twisting of the internal organs that women experience during pregnancy as they "suffer with" the child they are bringing into the world.
Real men, like Jesus, embrace the motherly dimension of God.
Brilliant, sir - I will try to repost on my feed. 🙌
Hi Randy. I just wanted to comment that your remark about those who fought in combat but didn’t speak of it, rings true with me. There’s my dad, a naval officer who didn’t speak of his experiences, but there’s also my uncle. We knew he was at the Normandy landing and was wounded, but we—including my cousins—never knew the extent of his heroism. However, the army sent men to honor him with a twenty one gun salute at his funeral, and those men shared the information with us.
My husband is a partially disabled veteran and gets his care at the VA. When you go to the VA, you will see a whole bunch of disabled parking spots wide open, and several non-disabled parking spots near the front wide open. Then you'll observe a bunch of veterans hobbling/limping in from "the back 40" because most of them want to save those spaces for "someone who needs it more than I do." These real-deal military dudes are not asking for any recognition and would much rather sacrifice more for others. If they do wear a hat or something reflecting their service, it's more so they can connect with others in the same boat, not so they can get a free meal. (Although my husband will gladly take the discount at Home Depot.) The many WWII vets I got to meet before they passed were the same. They didn't flaunt their service. They simply did life in service to others when they got back.
My second comment here, but it's been on my mind. It seems this masculinity mindset has a lot to do with the DOGE cuts. Such men do not value the work or intelligence of anything or anyone that they don't own or control. I'm not just referring to the dismissal of women and minorities, but to whole departments. Since everything for them has been performative, they project that on to others' endeavors. They seem to think things just run by magic instead of hard work and dedicated people. The elimination of the Department of Education, and the gutting of the FAA and FEMA are such examples.
I do not know if it is that they think these things run by magic, I think it is more malicious, and that they think that because these things benefit others, they merely don’t want them to run at all
You Don’t Have to Cosplay What You Already Are
The loudest cries for “sacrifice” often come from those who’ve never had to give anything up.
And the most insistent calls for “authority” rarely flow from lives marked by humility.
But here’s the deeper truth:
You don’t have to cosplay what you already are.
Masculinity isn’t proved through performance.
It’s revealed through presence.
So the question isn’t how loud your values are.
It’s how quietly they live in you.
James 3:17-18 describes the wisdom and humility that comes from following the ways of Jesus:
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”
Thanks for sharing this Kristen. I’m truly disturbed by the toxic masculinity being displayed in our country.
Really was inspired by this and thought that the line about t-shirts two sizes too small was hilarious. This is a thoughtful piece.
I laughed out loud at that line as well! Seen too many of those!
We all have many identities with our sex, race, and nationality being the main ones, obviously. These are not sinful, but any one of them can become an idol that competes for Jesus' preeminence in our lives. For example, I have had friends for whom their motherhood and number of children seemed to be their sole source of value. It seems like something similarly idolatrous is happening with these guys, wanting status, solely based on the fact they are of the stronger sex. Or can it be the sin of vanity? As my wise friend Greta says, there is not one virtue that applies to men that doesn't apply to women too. We are all to be more like Christ, period! Also, I wish I could meet each one of these men and tell them that there is nothing more unmasculine to a woman than a man who is into his masculinity. Please delete all your chopping wood videos and repent!
“there is nothing more unmasculine to a woman than a man who is into his masculinity.”
it is absolutely insane How far liberal women will go to vilify men having their own identity and interests. it is not at all the coincidence why these people move to the right, especially coupled with the Democratic parties shift to the right in general.
Thank you for you reply. I was stating my opinion, and I shouldn't generalize. I am actually not a liberal woman, and if you witnessed my own marriage vows, well let's say John MacArthur could have written them! I do think an obsession with masculinity in men usually coincides with their unhealthy expectations for women. That goes beyond personal hobbies, which I am all for, and can lead to real harm for all women, something we should all care very much about.
Thank you for your reply as well! you do not mention an obsession with masculinity in your original post. you merely stated women are not attracted to men who are “into their masculinity.” the way I interpret that is someone who has found comfort and is enthusiastic about the way. They express their masculinity the fact that you even provided a specific hobby to vilify furthered my belief in that.
I confess, I was thinking of a certain candidate for governor in my state who kept posting videos of himself chopping wood and saying that this was what manhood looked like (He lost in the primary). I am all for hobbies, even those I don't understand. Have a great weekend!
well, of course, there is a difference between traditionally-deemed masculine hobbies and the obviously problematic exclusive vision of manhood that you use your hobbies to gatekeep. That was just not conveyed in your original message at all.
Thank you, Kristen. These are powerful and meaningful insights. The application of masculine cosplay in the church also reveals a fundamental flaw in what is seen as Christian spirituality. Substituting toxic religious behaviors and proclamations for Jesus-centered spirituality that brings life rather than death to the world. Thanks again!
It will take a lifetime of reading stuff like this and practicing another way to pull back and remove the deep layers of harmful ideologies such as these.
Worth reading multiple times...sharing it with friends.
Your quotations from James are well placed. Thank you for this reminder!
"Sinning in the right direction." My God... Glad you're sharing Jay's work. He's got some really valuable insights.
I think it’s simple. When humans interact, conflicts emerge. When a conflict emerges, it is resolved in service of the common interest, or it is left unresolved in service of a limited interest. We can’t resolve every conflict one-by-one in the sequence in which it emerges, but what would happen if a magic spell made everyone in the world suddenly want to resolve the most important conflicts in every direct personal relationship? It would not turn our civilization into a utopia. Instead, we would be in harmony with our human nature and with each other.
Josh Hawley can’t resolve a conflict because he can’t understand the “common interest” concept. He is instead a world-class expert at expressing sophisticated versions of “I’m right, you’re wrong because you disagree with me, and this conversation is over.”
For me, this was brilliant, clarifying and compelling. I marked well your John Wayne look at Christian nationalism and thank you. And I follow you and appreciate your association with so many intelligent and compassionate people. I smile with a little more confidence in knowing the "why" and "how" all this is happening in America. Thank you....
My husband is a partially disabled veteran and gets his care at the VA. When you go to the VA, you will see a whole bunch of disabled parking spots wide open, and several non-disabled parking spots near the front wide open. Then you'll observe a bunch of veterans hobbling/limping in from "the back 40" because most of them want to save those spaces for "someone who needs it more than I do." These real-deal military dudes are not asking for any recognition and would much rather sacrifice more for others. If they do wear a hat or something reflecting their service, it's more so they can connect with others in the same boat, not so they can get a free meal. (Although my husband will gladly take the discount at Home Depot.) The many WWII vets I got to meet before they passed were the same. They didn't flaunt their service. They simply did life in service to others when they got back.
This is a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing it.